It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
