I think i peed on brittanys purse
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
