just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
