So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
