Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
