do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
