We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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