she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
