So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
