My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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