thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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