I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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