i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
