Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
