I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
