Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Everything about him screamed your future.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
