glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Are we still banned from the library?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
