I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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