How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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