I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
