I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
