yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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