it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
