It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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