Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
