so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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