Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
