frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
