Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh god it's open bar.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
