you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
