so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
