Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
