I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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