saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
