I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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