Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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