Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I believe in your delicious
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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