you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
