What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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