Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
