True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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