Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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