I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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