AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
