Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
