Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
