His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize