Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
