As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
