in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
