shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize