My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i think im in europe. pls send help
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
