You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
