So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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